Posts in Inquiry Method
Inquiry Negotiations (The Cost of Getting the Edge on Someone)

In finding retreat sites for experiences I used to be a hard negotiator. I would get the price down to the least amount, the best deal I could get. I just figured that it was good business and I was a good negotiator. Then when I got there I was surprised about a negative attitude, problems, and issues.

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Arthur & Merlin: The Power of Inquiry Leadership

As I have spoken before, the Inquiry Leadership model approaches leadership from the idea of mentoring and developing people. In this model the primary relationship between a leader and employee is as a mentor. In this view the mentee is the hero and the leader is the supporter. I like to think of the relationship between King Arthur and Merlin.

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Two Types of Leadership

What is your reaction to being controlled?I can always detect control, because when my system recognizes control, I resist. It may be subtle, but I can feel the beginning of a sense of resistance. To free myself from this resistance to being controlled, I simply give myself a choice about what I want to do. How can you tell if you are being controlling? You will feel or experience resistance from the other person. This is 100% effective.

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Wait! Don't Throw It Out

Most of us in our culture are perfectionists, we are taught to judge. As we look around we think this is good, this is bad. We may get more sophisticated and judge “this is better”, “that could use some improvement”, “that should not be like that”. We can also turn it on ourselves and judge “if only I was”, “that was stupid”, “I am too…”, “I am amazing”, “I know how that should be”, ...

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A Simple Life Changing Practice

We spend a tremendous amount of time and energy avoiding feelings. Sometime when you are triggered, simply stop and feel what you are experiencing. Instead of justifying, avoiding, explaining, talking, drinking, exercising, checking out, arguing, complaining, criticizing, sleeping, watching TV, eating, having sex, etc… just feel what you are feeling. Close your eyes, feel your physical body, where do you feel the energy?

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The Veils

There are two aspects to the Inquiry Method perspective. One has to do with our external orientation, our interaction with life. This is the externalized aspect of inquiry. When we use inquiry to interact with life, we approach the world with curiosity and wonder.

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How to Be a Good Listener and Friend

Probably the number one complaint I get from people who have learned Inquiry Method is that none of their friends know how to listen to them. It is a contrast because before Inquiry Method, they were just used to it. In most conversations, one person talks a little bit about themselves, or what they think or saw or heard, then the other person responds about themselves and what they think or saw or heard.

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Where Do I Look?

Approaching life through the Inquiry Method provides a basic place to begin with any issue that may arise. We are tempted to say, “This person did this” or “They shouldn’t have done that,” or we try to explain how or why it is not about us. We are tempted to explain or defend ourselves.

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