In finding retreat sites for experiences I used to be a hard negotiator. I would get the price down to the least amount, the best deal I could get. I just figured that it was good business and I was a good negotiator. Then when I got there I was surprised about a negative attitude, problems, and issues.
Read MoreIn physics, at a very small scale, they have found that the act of observation impacts the outcome and the data produced. The same is true in your business.As a leader, what you notice, what you pay attention to is your most powerful leadership tool.
Read MoreAs I have spoken before, the Inquiry Leadership model approaches leadership from the idea of mentoring and developing people. In this model the primary relationship between a leader and employee is as a mentor. In this view the mentee is the hero and the leader is the supporter. I like to think of the relationship between King Arthur and Merlin.
Read MoreWhat is your reaction to being controlled?I can always detect control, because when my system recognizes control, I resist. It may be subtle, but I can feel the beginning of a sense of resistance. To free myself from this resistance to being controlled, I simply give myself a choice about what I want to do. How can you tell if you are being controlling? You will feel or experience resistance from the other person. This is 100% effective.
Read MoreMost of us in our culture are perfectionists, we are taught to judge. As we look around we think this is good, this is bad. We may get more sophisticated and judge “this is better”, “that could use some improvement”, “that should not be like that”. We can also turn it on ourselves and judge “if only I was”, “that was stupid”, “I am too…”, “I am amazing”, “I know how that should be”, ...
Read MoreWe spend a tremendous amount of time and energy avoiding feelings. Sometime when you are triggered, simply stop and feel what you are experiencing. Instead of justifying, avoiding, explaining, talking, drinking, exercising, checking out, arguing, complaining, criticizing, sleeping, watching TV, eating, having sex, etc… just feel what you are feeling. Close your eyes, feel your physical body, where do you feel the energy?
Read MoreThere are two aspects to the Inquiry Method perspective. One has to do with our external orientation, our interaction with life. This is the externalized aspect of inquiry. When we use inquiry to interact with life, we approach the world with curiosity and wonder.
Read MoreProbably the number one complaint I get from people who have learned Inquiry Method is that none of their friends know how to listen to them. It is a contrast because before Inquiry Method, they were just used to it. In most conversations, one person talks a little bit about themselves, or what they think or saw or heard, then the other person responds about themselves and what they think or saw or heard.
Read MoreWe often get confused between intention (outcome) and process. “I want them to do this” is not an intention; it is a process that you think will get you what you want. Intention is more like, “I want to feel good about the weekend,” or “I want to be successful at this job.”
Read MoreApproaching life through the Inquiry Method provides a basic place to begin with any issue that may arise. We are tempted to say, “This person did this” or “They shouldn’t have done that,” or we try to explain how or why it is not about us. We are tempted to explain or defend ourselves.
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