The Effort-Nurture Zone
Would it be a change for you if you eliminated strain from you life? Would that serve you?In my yoga practice and other physical activity, I have been working with the difference between strain, effort, nurture, and care. With these insights I am applying the awareness’s I have come to in all areas of my life. So far, what I have come up with is this:Strain is when we are taxing the body, mind, or spirit in a way that is harmful or unproductive. It takes a toll on us or does damage to us. Think of straining your eyes or a muscle. You are hurting yourself.Stress, anxiety, worry, overwork, brain strain…. How does your body feel after working out? After work? What is strain in a relationship? What is a strain in your diet?Effort (or challenge) is when we are developing part of us—mind, body, or spirit. We are making an effort, meeting a challenge. Bursts or periods of effort are an important part of our lives but must be balanced with rest and recovery. Sustained effort easily becomes strain. We can and should use effort in our lives, but we must realize that we will have to balance it with recovery time.Sometimes we need to step it up: sprinting workouts increase our running speed, giving a presentation may take effort but gives rewards, making an effort to talk openly in our relationships may be challenging but reaps rewards, facing our emotional pain may take an effort but . . . what types of effort serve you in your life?Nurture is when we are doing things that strengthen or ground us. As we nurture ourselves—mind, body, and spirit—we become healthier, we have more resources, and we are primed and ready for occasional effort. Nurture is the primary state within which we should spend the majority of our time.How do you set up a life that is full of nurture? Nurture is active, not passive; it is positive action to strengthen ourselves.Nurturing winter food is warm; summer food can be crisp and cool. Is a nap nurturing for you? Does earning and saving money nurture you? Can you do your job in a self-nurturing way or does it always have to be an effort? Can being with your kids be nurturing to you? What changes would you have to make to different areas of your life to make those areas nurturing?Care is for when we have over-balanced into deficit, through strain of effort, and our resources are depleted, over tapped, or we have been injured or harmed in some way. We have over-extended and we need to recover. We require more intervention than nurture; we need recovery in mind, body, or spirit.Care may be rest from exercise. How about a month off? Maybe you need a spa weekend? A babysitter? How will you heal your emotional strain? Where have you strained or injured yourself? What healing does that strain require?In every area of your life there is potential for strain, effort, nurture, and care. All areas of your life benefit by staying in the effort-nurture range, not venturing into strain or needing care. I suspect that the balance for me is about 10% effort-90% nurture. Picture this range for yourself in the following areas:DietExerciseWorkPrimary RelationshipParentingRestPlayCreativityRiskMoneyFriendshipsPick three of the above categories and make a list or write a short paragraph for what strain, effort, nurture, and care look like for you in this category. Imagine how you can come more into balance and stay in the effort-nurture zone.What impact would it have on you if the other people in your life stayed in the effort-nurture zone?What impact would you have on others if you stayed in the effort-nurture zone?