Vision for Relationship

I have been doing a lot of relationship work lately.Most of us engage in relationship conversations from the perspective of what I need, which is fine at one level, we all want to get what we feel like we need.The problem is that the relationship can become a negotiation about sharing limited resources, time, care, money, etc… and how they are divided.  “It is my turn to be cared about…”In my view the relationship is an entity in itself, like a business but for a different purpose.  When we work in a business it is because we want to get what we want but we operate and work together toward the business’s vision, what the business needs.The first questions I ask a couple are: What is your vision for the relationship?  What do you want the relationship to be like?  What would it look like if it was just the way you wanted it?Creating a collective vision for the relationship and working toward that is much more powerful than negotiating for your wants.  Sure, we have to make an effort and do the work to become the person who can have that kind of relationship, but it is not about what you or the other person needs, it is about what the relationship needs, and that is a totally different ball game.