A Path Not Your Own

“The longer you stay on a path not your own, the more distance you have to make up to get back on your true path”.  —Kyle MercerWhen we make a choice (or don’t make a choice) that leads us off our path, we end up paying a heavy price.We all know that feeling: we agree to something, to buy something, to do something that is just not right for us.  We often have great rationales, great reasons, and great thinking to back up our choices.  In fact making up reasons is one of the best ways to notice you are not doing what is true for you.When it is right for you, there is little to explain … “It is just what I am doing.”Check out the picture below:We find ourselves on a path in life, and we travel down it, doing the next thing and experiencing what arises as we live.  At certain times we come to a point of decision to do, say, agree, act, or not act.In the first case above we come to a fork in the road, and we choose a path not our own. It could be a business decision, a relationship decision, or simply an agreement or take an action that is not true for you, yet you can see that the true path continues on or diverges in a different way.In the second instance it was time to make a change, and we did not make the change. We kept going the way we were going rather than take our true path, which diverged from the way we were going.When we lose our path, we begin to feel the discomfort, like something is not right, like we are not where we should be.Our true path is not really some fated destiny; it is not external to us but internal.  One might say a path with a heart.  In our case it is our hearts that determine the true path.Unfortunately, if we are to be on our individual path in life and we have left it, then at some point we must get back to it.  The farther we have diverged from our true path, the longer we wait to discover our truth, the more difficult it will be to get back into alignment.  This difficulty usually adds up to pain and suffering.As you can see from the chart, the longer we wait, the farther the paths diverge, and the more we have to bushwhack to get back on our path.Sometimes it is hard to know whether we have gotten off our true path and are doing the wrong thing, or if we are on our true path and I just need to grow, learn, develop, or let go of something to walk that path.  Getting clear about knowing the difference is a long way toward wisdom.It is often not about changing major things in our lives. Sometimes we can get off our path just because we haven’t spoken our feelings or asked for what we want.  Maybe we went along with our partners on some big life decisions to find it is not really working for us.  The time is now, the longer we wait to have the conversation or to get clarity, the more the paths diverge, the more pain to be paid, and we can’t afford the price of non-integrity.It is a very useful life skill to be able to feel into your heart and know what is true for you, so that when you come to a fork in the road, a decision point, you can feel into that truth and act on it.Pain, ego, ideas, beliefs, drive, culture, shame … these can all interfere with our ability to feel what is true for us. The cleaner we get, the harder it is to get distracted from our true path.Where might you have lost your path?