Control to Creativity

Resistance is an interesting subject. I suspect that most of us have been called resistant at some time in our lives or gotten angry at ourselves for being resistant.

Where does resistance come from? What is it telling us?

We assume resistance is a bad thing, something to be avoided, but if resistance was just a symptom what would be its cause?

“If there is no control there is nothing to resist”. Resistance is our natural response to control.

So if I am resisting, it is my signal that I am being exposed to control, either internal or external. If I judge or observe that someone else is resisting me, I am attempting to control.

There are two ways to create what you want with other people or yourself: control and inspiration. Control is sourced from fear, avoiding what we don’t want. Inspiration is sourced from creativity and is based in creating what we want or helping someone else get what they want. Control begets resistance or obedience. Inspiration begets enthusiasm and participation.

If you ever want to know which you are doing, look at the reaction you are getting. Are you getting resistance or obedience or are you getting enthusiasm and participation?

Are you resisting the exercise program you put yourself on or are you enthusiastically engaged in it?

Let’s say you have issues with your spouse’s spending habits. You could complain, put them on a budget, get passive aggressive when you do the bills, berate, explain, judge and you could sit in your fears and unhappiness with the issue and have it come between you.

OR

You could first inquire into why you want to conserve money within yourself. Instead of indulging your fears about spending the money you could look into why you want to conserve money. Let’s say you have a vision of retiring to Costa Rica in 5 years and you have figured out that if you stay on a budget that that can happen. Now you are getting inspired!

Then you could share your idea with your spouse and inquire into what your lives could look like in five years. Maybe they will love your idea or have a better one. Now we are getting creative and inspired. Now that we know what we want, we can get on a plan, a mission to get there that is fun and successful.

The more we talk about what we want and are interested in what others want the more we can create creative, inspiring, resistance free relationships in our lives.

This works great in the office too!

Lets all get out and get inspired and inspire, that is how to start something moving in your life.