"Selfishness"

Many people are surprised when I advocate selfishness and they struggle with this concept.  I think it’s time for a clarification.When I talk about selfishness, I mean doing what is best for the self.  The selfishness I am talking about is not the selfishness that is pleasing the ego or emotions or any dysfunction; it is the selfishness of pleasing who you really are at the core.  Always be selfish for your soul, for source, for inner-truth.Often selfishness is brought up in the context of what I call neediness. Neediness is when I have to keep consuming in the attempt to feel good.Neediness comes in two forms: the traditional “needy person” (I call this weak needy), or in the form of a “taker,” someone who is always taking from others (I call this strong needy).Neediness can be emotionally or physically needy (body) or ego needy (mind) and come in both strong and weak forms.  Examples are:

• Needing support and encouragement all of the time
• Getting self in bad situations and needing to be rescued
• Manipulation
• Victimhood or martyrdom
• Over consumption
• Greed
• Overly competitive
• Miserly
• Spenders
• Needing control
• Rebellion
• Aggression
• Jealousy
• Shaming
• Etc.

The difference between neediness and selfishness in my understanding is that it is simply a function of a person’s level of personal development.  Selfishness in someone who does not have a strong foundation expresses itself as needy (strong or weak), but as a person grows, selfishness evolves and expresses itself in ways that serve one’s source.Once you learn to take care of yourself, your selfishness makes sure that you get what you need, but it is in balance because you have a broader view that what serves you is not about getting control of others or getting the most of something or always having it your way.  Often, evolved selfishness is the awareness that our well-being is often improved when others around us have what they need.In this way “want for me” evolves into “want for us.”  It is all still selfishness and self-interest, but it becomes an ever-expanding bubble as we see that we are all interconnected.How does the well-being of others around you impact your well-being?Lets hope that we all keep growing so that we can recognize that the well-being of the planet is in our selfish, self-interest.