Guilt II

When you judge yourself guilty for something in the past, you are being really unfair to your present self.If you feel guilty, you already feel differently about the past situation than you did in the past, and if you had it to do over, you would do it differently.Try this:1.     Pick something you feel guilty about.2.     Now, imagine that person that did that thing to (the past) you. Is that the same as you?  Let’s check.a.     Take your present self and put your present self back into that same position, exactly the same.  Would you, your present self, do the same thing?b.     If yes, then you were in integrity with your present self, and you are taking on someone else’s values. There is nothing to feel guilty about; you acted in your integrity.c.      If no, then you are not the same person who took that action or did that thing.  Why would you beat your present self up for something that person did (a person who had a different perspective)?  Be kind to your present self, and let the guilt go.Guilt is only useful as a guide to the present, see Guilt I.Guilt is the killer of effective parenting, see Guilt III. (coming soon!)