Denial - The First Step in Healing

This is a deeper explanation of the first step in our six-step process to living with lower stress and better relationships in all aspects of our lives. The first step is denial.

Denial is a state we are all in all of the time, even if we don't want to admit it. We are in denial about everything until we discover it.

For example, people often have an epiphany when they find out that they are terminally ill; they see how much they value life and how dear it is to them. To some level we are all in denial about the beauty and meaning of life and who we are.

The challenge is when we keep ourselves in denial despite messages from ourselves, others and circumstances in our lives.

We receive messages from the world in many ways. Something is not working, we are struggling, people aren’t cooperating, others are resisting us, our marriage is falling apart, we get fired, we get criticized, etc.

We also receive messages from our body: illness, pains and aches, accidents, headaches, blood pressure, anxiety, stomach pain, etc.

We also get messages from our emotions: anger, fear, stress, boredom, depression, sadness, grief, etc.

We get messages from our mind: incessant thinking, judgments, criticisms of self and others, brooding, racing thoughts…We get messages from our addictions by overdoing in an attempt to nurture ourselves: drinking, drugs, overworking, obsessions, love or sex addictions, food, tv, exercise…We get messages all of the time.  An alarm clock is a good metaphor:

What if you looked at your emotions, feelings in your body, your thinking, your addictions, and conflict in your life like an alarm clock? Then every time you stuff them or use denial to avoid feeling them it is like hitting the snooze alarm, peaceful for a moment, but you always know it will be coming around again until you finally wake up.

Waking up is what moves us from denial to recognition; from denial to addressing what is not working in our lives. You can wake up to something right now! There is a message that is right in front of you that you are denying and ignoring. Take a look and wake up. Waking up is part of your healing process.