On Dying

You don’t see me endorse something very often.The other day I attended an extraordinary event led by Stephen Jenkinson. It was one of the best talks/presentations I have attended. The subject was death, and it was exceptional that this dark subject could be such an uplifting and life-affirming experience.Stephen has attended many deaths and read from his book Die Wise, which I have ordered, but not yet read. The readings were interspersed with humor and deep insight into life and death. Stephen speaks of us as a death phobic culture and implies the cost we pay for this position.Of particular interest to me was the perspective that death is our last act, the ultimate perspective to view life and to share it. He says that our death is not ours but the community’s; that by “dying well” we teach those left behind about what life really is. His readings were full of these gems.“Dying well” in his world is not with pride and toughness but with vulnerability, openness, intimacy, truth. That as we share our process, those who receive our experience will recognize or have a window into that which we can only speculate about until we receive the message that death is imminent.He also shared short, poignant insights into the dying process and perspectives that allow us to consider dying well and to support the process in others. For example, that the loss of appetite is common in those nearing death and that families often try to encourage eating to “keep your strength up” at just the time when we need to lose our strength. He says that death requires you to lose your strength (not become weak) but to lose our strength, so beautiful.He speaks of modern “med-tech” and its effect on the dying process and end of life decisions. We speak of the “quality of life,” he speaks of the “quality of death.”Each story and insight further illustrates the process of death. I left feeling death was more beautiful and more immense that I had been aware of.He said that the difference between angels and demons was that angels brought you what you want, and demons brought you what you don’t want, but neither gift was less meaningful or valuable. Death he says, is meeting a demon in the dark woods.I encourage you to explore and connect with his work in some way, truly life affirming and expanding.Great gratitude to Stephen, you are a gift to us all!Link to Stephen's website: Orphan Wisdom