Better Than You Found Them

Most of us experience some interactions with other people where we feel like a victim of the other person; we let them take the lead and have the power in the interaction.  This can be over the long term or short.  We allow ourselves to be “at-affect” of others.How do we get out of this situation?  How do we begin to stop feeling like life is happening to us, and start happening to life, while at the same time not being controlling and demanding?An interesting tool for this when interacting with others is: “Leave them better than you found them”.When you are interacting with others and worried about yourself you are “at-affect” of the other person.  What they do and say is looked at in the context of how it affects you.However, if you change your perspective and are looking at the interaction from the basis of leaving them better than you found them you are now coming from a perspective outside yourself, you don’t need anything from the conversation but you are interested in the other person's well being.This can also be done in seemingly difficult situations like disagreements, emotional upsets, and angry exchanges.Caution:  This is not about controlling, or being better than the other person.  Use Inquiry Method to find out what they need and with your questions empower them to get what they need.  You are not here to fix.  “Leave them better than you found them” is a perspective not a duty or actions as such.Try it out.  What would it look like if you intended to leave everyone better than you found them?